


Presents and the Past

by razzzmatazz



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Christmas, Flashbacks, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships, Secret Santa, Trans Male Character, Would say spoilers but PH is like ten years old so--
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razzzmatazz/pseuds/razzzmatazz
Summary: Oz reflects on his journey and all he's found along the way, to where he is now.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3
Collections: Pandora Hearts Secret Santa 2020





	Presents and the Past

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Secret Santa gift for mochijun-is-the-best.tumblr.com
> 
> I really tried to include all their prompts since they all fit so well together!  
> I hope you enjoy!

A chill from the large windows of the Vessalius manor seeped into the much warmer foyer. The crackling blaze from the hearth somewhat mimicked the colder and frozen ice splitting and cracking along the tops of the rivers and ponds outside. Oz could almost feel the chill from outside except-- he couldn’t really. Not with the fireplace lighting up the room and his most treasured tucked into either side of the blonde. Any chill from the edges of the windows were engulfed in the warmth of the room. 

All three of them had been outside earlier in the day, amidst the snow covered courtyard and surrounding grounds. Enjoying the sun and cold-- enjoying life and each other, and of course, pelting Gilbert with snowballs. Before nightfall, they’d retreated back inside to soak up the warmth in the manor and fill their bellies with Gilbert’s food.. He couldn’t see it from where he rested on the couch, but Oz knew there were some terribly silly snowmen still decorating the lawn.

Courtesy of Alice of course.

The ever energetic brunette slept peacefully now, thank goodness. Oz combed one of his hands through her long hair, a fond smile tugging the corners of his mouth up. He knew she was fast asleep but part of him still worried that if he stopped brushing her hair, she’d wake up. Demand to know why he stopped and cuddle herself into his side with determination set on her face. The thought made him laugh softly and, unsurprisingly, she still didn’t wake.

It was difficult enough to calm Alice down enough to actually sleep. And on Christmas Eve? It should have been impossible but Gilbert and he somehow managed. They always did.

Gilbert had also long since fallen asleep at his young master’s other side. His hat held securely in his lap and his head resting against the back of the couch. The room still smelled of sugar cookies and tea thanks to Gil. Oz was happy they could both fall asleep so quickly but he-- always seemed to have trouble dozing off this time of year. Not for the festive holiday either, but because of what came after. 

His father had been a cruel man after all, and told Oz many times that he never should have been born. Understandable then-- that the young master held an aversion to his birthday for so long. Even with the knowledge of why Xai had treated him the way he had, Oz never looked forward to his supposed special day. 

Until Gil and Alice made it special. 

Both of them showed the blonde, over and over again, how loved he was. How, no matter what he’d lost, he’d always have a family with them. The only other one Oz had ever really had on his side was his uncle. And he’d learned very early on in his life that no matter how mad Oscar got at him for this or that-- the man still loved him. Hell--. Oscar had been more of a father to him than anyone.

The blonde remembers one memory in particular, standing in front of his uncle's door, hands fidgeting with themselves and so incredibly nervous. Oscar had only really yelled at him once before. And although that fear of rejection was a distant memory to Oz where he currently was, falling asleep in front of his fireplace, for the young heir in memory-- near panicking in front of Oscar’s door, it was still fresh. 

And terrifying. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oz waited, for what he would think was hours, in front of his uncle’s door. A hand brushed through his now much shorter blonde hair-- the only thing that had put a smile on his face within the last few hours. The maids in the manor had seemed reserved to follow through with Oz’s request without Oscar’s approval, but pleading from both the blonde and Gilbert had finally gotten Oz his way.

With a father who hated his very existence, the young heir struggled with his identity more than most. Had he done something to upset his father? Was it simply the fact that he was born-- or born a girl that made Xai resent him? Oz thought, at first, that he was doing this as an attempt to desperately please his father. Earn his love. That idea never sat well in his stomach.

Gilbert always stood by his young master’s side, even through this struggle. Oz had no fear or worry of Gil accepting him or what he wanted-- who he was, but his uncle--. Oz didn’t actually get a chance to knock on the door before it opened. Oscar very much looked like he was heading out somewhere but seeing the look on Oz’s face, longing for love and acceptance-- terrified and hopeful--. Oscar stopped in his tracks and knelt before Oz. 

“Hey--. You got your hair cut. It’s really short now.” Oscar wasn’t sure where to start or what was wrong so.. start somewhere simple? Not simple enough it seemed though. Oz tensed and reached up to his hair again. It was even shorter than Gil’s but.. It was perfect. With each long lock the maids cut off, Oz had felt weights lifted from his shoulders.

“I like it short. I wanted it to be.” Oz’s answers were short too but at least he was talking and not drawing into himself or trying to hide away.

“Yeah? Looks good.” As always, immediate acceptance from Oscar. Something Oz never got from his father. What was he so worried about again? 

“Something wrong? You know you can always talk to me.”

Right. That’s what Oz was worried about. The blonde was quiet for a long time, neither moving nor looking at his uncle. Oscar was patient-- kind eyes watching Oz struggle with words and emotions. The older man had an idea as to what this was about, but he didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Or take any of that fire away from Oz.

“I’m a… I want you to call me a boy….” 

“...If this is about your father--.”

“No! No-- I thought it might have been.. What he wanted. But it’s not! It’s what I want!”

Such determination in green eyes, as well as fear shaking through those small hands. Oscar set a bit of a harder gaze on Oz and, to credit his bravery, the young heir didn’t back down. Oz looked on the verge of crying but he held it in. This was somewhat what Oscar was expecting-- he’d loved and raised Oz for years after all! He’d at least like to think he knew his-- well, nephew now, well enough.

Oscar only seems to just realize too that Oz has taken some of Gilbert’s clothes.

“I--. I’m a boy, uncle.” Oz tries again, more sure of himself and resolved to deal with whatever the outcome of this is.

The young blonde is pulled into his uncle’s arms without any hesitation. Oz tenses, fearful for a moment, but relaxes once he feels a large, comforting hand on his back and hears his uncle’s gentle laughter.

“We need to go shopping for new clothes then, don’t we?” Oscar would get everything Oz needed. The younger blonde couldn’t hold back his tears anymore though. He clung desperately to his uncle, sobbing silently against his coat. Good thing Gil wasn’t around to see, or Oz would have to kick his butt after this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now? Here that same blonde was, getting trampled in his own home. Wait-- trampled?

“Wake up, wake up, wake up, Oz!”

“Alice, stop jumping on him or you’ll hurt him!”

Green eyes opened to see purple, watching Oz intently but, thankfully, from a less painful distance. Immediately, Oz was warmed by the room. The decorated tree looked like presents had exploded out from under it now. The likely source of Alice’s excitement. The brunette was pleased enough to see Oz waking up now anyway, and jumped over to sit very impatiently by the large pile of presents.

“Good morning, young master.” Gilbert, dutiful as always, helped Oz sit up before holding a fresh and warm cup of tea under his nose. Paper suddenly ripped from where Alice sat, followed by some very loud exclamations of her more than palpable excitement. Oz had to laugh at that, holding his tea steady in his lap, while Gil just shook his head with a faint smile on his face.

“Gil--. Good morning.” The blonde smiles. They both sit in a comfortable silence for a while, listening to and watching Alice open gifts labeled for her before the brunette comes to sit herself in front of both men. A poorly wrapped present in each hand.

“I’m bored opening gifts all alone, open yours!” Wide purple eyes glance from Oz and Gil, alight with excitement. Oz motiones for Gilbert to take his and open it first, since he’s still working on his tea. Even without the beverage, or the glow from the fireplace, Oz can’t help but once again feel warm and content inside. He remembers feeling this way, this happy with his uncle, before Gilbert and Alice came into his life. The blonde lost much of his family, to get where he is now-- happy. He can’t imagine now that anyone he’d lost would want him to still mourn them instead of.. holding onto his new family.

So he’ll hold on tight, cherish every moment with them, and always make sure Alice and Gilbert know how much he loves them. Because they’ve always done the same for him. Oz stopped living in the past a good while ago, but he knows it’s because of these two here, now arguing over what appropriate accessories for hats are, that the blonde can truly look forward to the future.


End file.
